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Monthly Vol No.17 Issue No.12 June, 2008

In October of 1981, I came to this beautiful parish with everything I owned in a little Civic Honda car. At that time, that was one of the cheapest and most economical cars available then. The first person I met upon arriving was the parish secretary, Mrs. Jean Michaud whose friendly smile and maternal welcome made me right away feel at home. I must have appeared to her like a lost sheep needing especial attention since I got lost despite her clear directions. Moving fast forward, it is hard to believe that I have to leave my home. This is not just a parish, it is already home and you have become my family. That makes it rather painful. Once again, the words of the Lord about leaving father, mother, brothers and sisters, and all your loved ones to follow him assume a new meaning for me. The first time I left home to follow the call to the priesthood, there were times I wondered whether I was doing the right thing. Now and then, the thoughts continue to haunt me whether I am really following His call and do I really have to continue with my decision. Meanwhile, just like the first time I left home, the Lord has fulfilled his part of the bargain regarding the hundredfold rewards plus eternal life. You, my dear friends and fellow parishioners, have been a big part of that promised reward now fulfilled. This parish and all the wonderful people that make it the kind of community it is, has been a source of joy and fulfillment in my ministry. I thank the Lord for this great reward though deep within me I feel not deserving it. However, while I don’t deserve you as a reward, I appreciate you very much as my gifts from the Lord. Now I am confident that if I am following his calling this time of my life, that He will let me know through many unpredictable ways and signs. I am learning to love the Lord of surprises.

THE BLESSINGS OF RETIREMENT

Everyone who wishes me a happy retirement seems to imply my anticipated joy of a retired priest. Specially my retired friends and fellow parishioners are apparently enjoying theirs and assuming that I too will have my share of that coveted state in our life. I really hope so. But I never really factored retirement in my life as a priest. A priest is committed to serve the Lord forever. When a priest is ordained, he is reminded that he is a priest forever according to the order of Melchisedeck. Melchisedeck is the high priest that Abraham approached to receive blessings after he shared to the Lord through this priest a significant portion of his treasures. Nothing is mentioned about this high priest’s ancestry and his priesthood is interpreted as the prototype of the priesthood of Christ. Hence, in my mind a priest continues to serve as a priest until his health fails. The priesthood is not just a profession or a career, it is a vocation to a state of life, just like the vocation to marriage. Can one retire as a husband or wife, or as a father or mother? Besides, just like many wonderful fathers or mothers I know in our parish who find their vocation fulfilling, I find my priesthood very fulfilling and more so here at St. Martin. I want to continue to be in priestly ministry especially where it is more needed. On the other hand, priests are appointed to certain offices like being a pastor or parochial vicar and other positions in the church as an institution. Then there are added responsibilities not just coming from the official Church but also from the government of the state in which the Church operates. Many of the functions from these positions are not properly priestly functions. As a pastor, I do a lot of things I was not ordained for. Since I am retiring from being a pastor, not being a priest, one of the blessings of retirement is the freedom from responsibilities and commitments that are not connected with the services I enjoy giving as a priest. The other blessing maybe is devoting more time to certain activities I love to do in my free time like reading or communicating and getting in touch with friends, or going back to my philosophical and theological studies for better understanding, or even more time to surf the internet for important information needed in my ministry, etc.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

While my life has been very happy and fulfilling here at St. Martin , I am also aware of my failures and shortcomings. It always amazes me every time I look back at my life here at St. Martin that for the eight years I worked with Father Frank Cottrell, he never reprimanded me nor even called my attention for correction even once. I have shared this experience with friends because I can’t get over this. Father Frank in his own simple and fraternal way molded my life in a way that has made me feel so accepted. Certainly, I would have welcome a fraternal correction from him as I experienced from other pastors in the past, but he did not act as my superior or boss, he was more of a brother or big brother. He reminds of an uncle priest, the younger brother of my mother, who was also like him and made me feel that he understood me and always accepted me. The plain truth, however, is that knowing myself, I did things that hurt or might have hurt some of you. I never intended to hurt anyone and would rather be the one hurt. On the other hand, in fulfilling the responsibilities of a pastor especially in administration, there were decisions or lack of decisions that I thought were called for at that time, but were not to your liking or might have caused hurt feelings. I ask for forgiveness for whatever I might have done or failed to do that might have caused some hurts, or disappointments or even frustrations. Who knows, that while I have been having a good time, you also have to put up with me.

FOREVER GRATEFUL

I am leaving St. Martin with a very grateful heart. I wish I could thank everyone of you for all you have shared with our parish and with me. For all the good you have done, may the Lord reward you a thousand times more than you can imagine, after all the Lord is never outdone in generosity. I am also leaving St. Martin with some sadness and pain. It was very emotionally difficult for me to open the cards or gifts and read your messages. A couple of times, I have to stop and it may take me some time to be able to respond to some of you. I am particularly grateful to Patrice who was kind enough to come back and help me in my ministry from the start. She has taught me to be more sensitive to how people feel. I have tried to be more rational and logical but somehow I might have missed the emotional side of myself. I go with much love and lots of blessings for all of you, my friends and fellow parishioners.